Priest or Fireman?

'This is the body of Jesus and this is the blood of Jesus' that's what my almost-5-year-old and my 3-year-old said this morning as they held up the old ceiling fan globes that I replaced last night. I almost cried.

I immediately grabbed my camera from my seat at the desk and started snapping pics. I had images in my head of showing these pictures at their ordinations, as they were obviously destined to become priests.

I switched the camera to video and started filming. I asked them what they were doing and they said again,

"This is the body of Jesus and this is the blood (pronounced bwood) of Jesus."

Me, "Are you the priests?"

Boys, "We're pretending!!"

Me, "Are you going to be priests one day?"

James, "NO! I'm going to be a fireman!"
Mark, "I'M going to be a garbageman!"

And pop goes the daydream bubble floating above my head! ;)

James went on to say that firemen are better than priests because if there's a fire at church, firemen get to save Jesus. I see his logic!

They may not turn out to be priests, but I'll be just as happy to have sons that are a fireman and a garbageman and who love Jesus!

Pwease Bwess Mama

I have to write this one down before I forget it completely. I was playing high-five (you know, slap the heck out of the other person's hand instead of the normal, gentle 'give me five') with my two year old Mark, and he started hitting my hand pretty hard. It actually did hurt a little bit, but I pretended that it really hurt, just like he does sometimes, just to see what he did.

First, he thought it was a game, but then he started to get really concerned, like I do. He kissed my head and asked me to show him where it hurt. I started to open my hand, but said "Don't touch it! It hurts!" He said, "Oh, I see. I so sorry! Can I kiss it?! Is that better?" I said it was a little better, but could he ask Jesus to make it all better? He responded with the following:

"Lword Jesus, pwease bwess Mama, pertect her, keep her safe, give her no boo boos, her no get sick, have peace, feewl better... and... have... good lips. You feel better Mama?!"

Two years old... now, as I type all this, he and my four year old are kicking each other in the face, so you see how I have to quickly write these things down when they happen... to savor them. It helps me get through the not-so-sweet times!

Jesus sent a garbage truck

I have a gift. I have the ability to set down my wallet, keys, and cell phone one second, and the next have absolutely no knowlege of what I did with it. It's like I black-out the moment before my hand releases. It's amazing really!

So anyway, recently, I had suffered one of these blackouts and lost my wallet. It was gone, I mean, really gone! I knew the day that I had lost it and worked hard to retrace my steps. That day I had taken the baby to a doctor's appointment, my 2 year old to the hospital for a stomach x-ray (he swallowed a coin), went to a friend's house, dropped my kids off at vacation bible school, went to a meeting, and went home.

I had the hospital staff, my friend's five children, all the teachers at vacation bible school, and the staff at the church where we had our meeting searching high and low, but they found no wallet. My husband and I cleaned out the van and looked under all the seats and mats. I cleaned the house top to bottom, looking under couches, under couch cushions, behind furniture, and in every known child's hiding place, but I still couldn't find my wallet. I prayed to God and beseeched St Anthony over and over and asked the same of my close friends and relatives. I even sent a shout-out on facebook, asking for prayers to find my lost wallet. IT WAS NOWHERE!!!!!!!!!

The part that really hurt wasn't the idea of cancelling my debit card (I have no credit cards, so that would be easy) or losing my frequent user card at the local jumping place, but I had about $70 in cash (I usually never have cash!) and five gift cards that we had been given to us as gifts for date nights.

After a week of not finding it and going over and over that day a million times, I decided that I really needed to go get a new driver's license. I packed up the kids and drove to the license branch. As I put the van in park, I threw my head back and sighed. I just felt sick over losing all of that money/all those gift cards and I just couldn't bare to accept it. I decided to ask for a miracle.

I asked the boys to pray with me ONE MORE TIME to find my wallet. So we started praying. Please, please, please, please, PLEASE Jesus, show Mommy where her wallet is! PLEASE JESUS!!!!!!! Please send it to Mommy!!!!!!

Then James, my 4 year old, said 'Look Mama!! Jesus sent a garbage truck for us to see!' I thought, great, Jesus sent a garbage truck. My favorite... I turned around to look at the garbage truck that Jesus sent and there, practically glowing, was my thin blue wallet!!!!!!!!!

It was an absolute miracle! I started screaming, 'Jesus sent the garbage truck so that Mommy could find her wallet!!!!!!!!!!' It was in the pocket of the sliding door, which I could never see because I'm never in the back of the van with the door shut. Jesus really did send that garbage truck for us, because if I hadn't turned to see the garbage truck, I never would have found my wallet.

We had a celebration that day, complete with McDonald's and the playground! I told the boys over and over that we were celebrating Jesus' love because He is so good to us!

Truly the best part about this awesome experience wasn't feeling the depth of God's love for me, or his concern for my little worries, but that my kids got to witness it all! They got to pray with me, asking God for a miracle, and they got to see that He granted our little prayer. That he sent a garbage truck (very fitting if you know that my boys spend the entire day on Tuesday and Friday waving at the garbage trucks on our street) to answer our prayer and bring my wallet back to me.

God is so good, and my kids saw proof of it, in the form of a garbage truck!

Enlightened reading material

I have read some really awesome books lately. The first of which is called Passionate Housewives Desperate for God by Jennie Chancey and Stacy McDonald.

I started reading it in the hospital when I had Paul, and under deep sleep-deprivation, it took a while to move forward, but I loved it! It gave me a refreshing outlook on the beauty of my vocation as a wife and mother. The really awesome thing about this book is that God used it to speak to me directly about a couple of issues that I was struggling to work through. I'll try to write about that specifically in the near future because I don't want to forget about it, but my computer screen is starting to get a little fuzzy... It must be this late hour.

The second book that I've read lately (and am still reading) is called Life-Giving Love by Kimberly Hahn. This book is just awesome (to show off my extensive vocabulary.) I borrowed it from a friend, and I was gushing about it to him the next day, saying how I love it so much that I want to keep going to absorb more and more, but, at the same time, I want to slow down and really savor each word. There are some pages that I have literally read four or five times so far, just because I want to really internalize the concepts and the average person needs to hear something at least nine times to learn it. (Side note: nine times! Isn't that amazing! I would venture to say that that number doesn't apply to toddlers or preschoolers, unless it has been multiplied by at least 100.)

Anyway, I was on a blogging roll tonight, and I really have regretted not blogging here about some of the ways God has been working in my life lately, so I did what I could with the time that I had and I pray that He gives me more to work with.

One day at a time

I was talking to my mom the other day, and she was telling me about a friend of hers who was going through a really hard time. During their conversation, her friend was talking, and everything that had anything to do with her situation, past, present, and possible future, started spilling out of her in quick succession. She was so distraught.

My mom was really upset, and didn't know what to say or do. I commented that it sounded like she's focusing on the whole big, hairy mess of a situation all at once, and it's overwhelming!!! You can't deal with the whole thing at once, it's not possible to handle all of that. We're not designed that way.

I read Mom this card that my Grandma Pat had sent me a few years ago, before she passed away last year. I put this card on my fridge the day after she sent it to me, and it is now a permanent fixture. It will stay on my fridge for the rest of my life, unless I laminate it first.

One Day at a Time

"Yesterday's problems
are over and done,
The Lord has stepped in
and resolved every one.
While things of tomorrow
are so far away,
He doesn't expect us
to face them today.
So we only have one day
for all life brings,
from challenging problems
to happier things.
Through His strength and His love
and His infinate grace,
each day is the one day
God asks us to face."

I read this, literally, every day. Every time I get something out of the fridge, I glance of it, and I think of God's grace, and my grandma's encouragement. It's so slap-you-in-the-face obvious, but I've found that those are the things that we need to be reminded of the most often, or at least I do.

Those words have been such a blessing for me. They've reminded me to let go of so many things; to relieve myself and give them to Him. I really think that it was a good witness to my mom and that it helped her guide her friend during hard times. We all need encouragement and guidance during the really hard times.

Bedtime Talk

I will remember this night for the rest of my life.

My (almost!) 3 year old, James, was really trying my patience. I had spent the evening grocery shopping, and he was in bed when I got home, but not asleep. He came out, begging for food, ate 3 pancakes with his daddy on the couch, and I took him back to his bed. He wouldn't go, wouldn't go, threw his boots, etc, and I had had it. I asked Josh to take over because I was so frustrated that I needed to walk away.

After I had cooled off, James was in bed alone, but still protesting. I went in to talk with him. I laid in bed with him, and we had a long talk about why it's so important to do what Mama says. He finally understood (I hope!), and he started talking to me.

He told me about spending time with his grandparents today, what they did, and... how he doesn't want to wear his boots anymore. My child hasn't worn any shoes other than his firetruck boots for at least 8 months now. I love it. I love this boot stage, and he has declared it over. He told me that it's too hard to run, walk, and play with his boots on. (HE'S SO BIG!) I said ok, but that I'd miss him in his boots.

We kept talking for a few minutes, then I said goodnight. I told him that I had fun talking with him. He said, "thanks for talkin with me Mama!" My heart melted into a big, goey puddle on the bedroom floor.

But that's not even the best part, although I thought nothing could top it. I cleaned up the kitchen after I left his room, and as I was going to bed myself, I heard him call for me (he was asking for his shoes, which he had asked me to bring to him as proof that he could wear them now instead of his boots.)

I went in, and he told me that there were monsters in his room. I told him that all he needed to do was to tell the monsters to go away in the name of Jesus!!! Apparently he saw the monsters go into the 'baby's' room, so I told them to be gone from Markie's room in the name of Jesus!!! Then my sweet little baby boy said "Jesus, come take monsters away from me, and Markie, and Mama, and Dada, and everybody!!!" This marks the first REAL time that I can say with absolute certainty that he understood what I was saying about Jesus. He understood that Jesus would come and send the monsters away from him, and all of us, and he asked Him to do it!

This is my favorite milestone by far, second only to last week when he walked up to me, kissed my leg, and said 'p(l)ease forgive me Mama!' after I scolded him for not picking his toys up. I am bursting with joy! Thank you Jesus!

Lord, thank you for these beautiful, beautiful children that you have entrusted me with. Help me to be worthy of their love and trust, and of yours. Thank you for allowing my own faith to grow through them. Impress on my heart the right prayers to say for them, and guide me as I attempt to guide them.

Blessed Mother, put your hand on mine as I teach them. Show me how best to nurture my children and bring them to your Son.

The beginning...

I have another blog, http://www.providentandresourceful.com/, and it's about being provident and resourceful (hence the name!) in order to serve Him better. I had an experience tonight that I felt compelled to put out there for others to read, but it didn't fit the theme of my blog. I feel like the Lord is moving me to start another blog, one that chronicles my walk with Him. I have found that ignoring these leadings almost always turns out badly for me, and being obedient always brings great fruit, so I am choosing to be obedient.

I have always been embarassed to admit my child-like status in my walk with Him, but I have found that more and more He is leading me to share it. He has used it as encouragement to those who are with me, before me, and even those further than me. I have found that, the more that I share, the more others are blessed by it, and, selfishly, the more I am blessed, so here goes.

Tonight I was in a chat room on a couponing blog. We were chatting and waiting for a huge Old Navy coupon to be released for a considerable amount of time (see post here:http://www.providentandresourceful.com/2009/06/balancing-time-in-coupon-world.html)

First, let me explain something about myself. I am a pretty quiet person in general, though when I am comfortable, or tired more often than not, I tend to speak without really thinking about what I am saying. I don't mean that I say mean or hateful things, because I usually don't think mean or hateful things, but I say whatever pops into my head. I lose the control of my verbal filter. I say what I'm thinking. It usually doesn't work out well, especially online where there are no tones, body language, etc.

While chatting, I said something that caused many of the other chatters to say not nice things to me. They weren't really mean exactly, but they weren't nice, and it stuck with me.

I really care what people think of me, because I am a very sensitive person, much more than most people realize. Their comments really stuck to me, so that even as I was in bed, I couldn't sleep because they bothered me so much.

Finally, I asked my husband to pray over me, and told him why I was so distressed. He insightfully told me to ask God to take it away from me, whatever it was that was hurting me. I had been praying, but not for this.

So I started to pray again. "Lord Jesus, please take this away from me, this... this... this feeling of... of..." I was stumped. I had no idea what to say about how I felt. I knew that it had to do with me caring so much about what others feel about me, but I didn't know how to put that into words. I began to think, "Why do I care what other people think? Why does it hurt me so much?," and like a slap across the face, I KNEW! I sat straight up, and said "IT'S A SPIRIT OF REJECTION!"

Instantly, the bonds were broken. The ropes that had been constricting me snapped and flew off. Josh and I both did spiritual warfare, and I started praying again, but I couldn't believe the INSTANT relief, the power of a name! Being unable to pinpoint what it was that was hurting me, I was allowing it to have power over me. In naming it, I was able to claim the authority that Christ has given me, and it was gone, powerless over me. I was able to lay in His presence and rest.

I knew that I was supposed to share this awesome experience, but I felt that putting this story on my other blog wasn't the right place. I felt compelled to start another blog, devoted to my walk with Christ and my desire to be like the wife described in Proverbs 31:10-31. I felt Him telling me all of this so strongly that I sit at my computer at 2:30 am, creating a new blog, and writing all of this so that it is not lost before morning.

Please join me in my walk, and share about yours. I have a feeling that this little venture will start small, but it could be something really awesome and glorifying.